Cat Fight
by eoraptor
Summary: ONESHOT: A wardrobe malfunction? The drawbacks of skintight costumes and kitten claws.


**_"Catfight"_**

 _By Eoraptor_

 _AN: "Kim Possible" and related characters property of The Walt Disney Company and Walt Disney Animation. This work constitutes parody and is not intended for profit._

"I dunno, Wade," the nineteen year old looked at the simulation the hacker had prepared for her, "Don't you think it's a little bit… aggressive?"

"Well, that's kind of the nature of _offensive_ weapons, Kim," He shook his head as the simulation returned to its start. "That's what you asked for."

"…but… This?"

"Well, it's only one option…" he nodded, sipping from his water bottle as he spun in his chair, indicating other screens with various interpretations of his designs, "But I thought about the way that you fought, and you never really seemed comfortable with the blasters that were built into the Centurion Project suit."

"So this?" She complained, "It just seems so… so…"

"Barbaric?"

"No."

"Vicious?"

"Mmm, sorta,"

"Catty?"

"Maybe on Bonnie."

"Then what?"

"I dunno!" she exclaimed in a huff, exasperated at her inability to verbalize her feelings on the additions to her repertoire.

"Just wear the suit, and if you need them, they're there." Wade offered with a hint of frustration, turning off the display.

"How would I activate them if I…" Kim chewed her lower lip, "need them?"

"Just like the plasma scoop, think it, and there they are." The hacker nodded as he handed over the aluminum briefcase with the battle suit locked tightly inside.

The redhead shook her head and took the case. She wondered how much of it was Wade being right about the nature of offensive weapons, and how much of it was just his being a boy and a nerd.

 ** _-KP-_**

Kim was flagging. Now that Drakken had gone straight, Shego had hired herself out, and apparently the only person who could afford her rates once Drakken took his patent portfolio with him was the Seniors. Ostensibly, this new employment arrangement made Shego work quite a bit harder for the pay check.

Apparently Shego had figured out the trick to several of the Battlesuit's capabilities, because she was keeping Kim at a stand-still while Junior evaded Ron on his way toward stealing whatever it was they were after. For the fourth time Kim ducked a hot plasma shot, the second of which she had originally scooped back at Shego, who then caught it and flung it right back at her with twice the energy and speed. Lesson quickly learned.

Much as Kim hated having to switch to using actual weapons, she had no choice as Shego nearly gave her a haircut from the neck up with her clawed gloves. The heroine leapt and somersaulted back until she had cleared enough space, and concentrated on 'weapon' in her mind. The suit made a shimmering sound and from the knuckles of each glove grew two long, curving claws, along each arcs of electricity ran, occasionally spanning from one claw to the other.

The redhead was surprised when she took a step and stumbled over a shorter claw, one of which had grown out of the toe of each of her boots. She'd forgotten that design aspect momentarily.

She looked up from her distraction just in time to see Shego throwing flaming hay maker right at her chin. She quickly interlocked the claws in front of her, and the villainess reacted only _just_ quickly enough to redirect her punch and prevent her fist being reduced to so much hamburger.

"Wha-?" She glared as she looked at the vicious additions to the heroine's electric pajamas, "When the hell did you get those?"

"You like?" Kim struck a modified stance, having to move carefully to avoid cutting herself with the glinting six inch knife blades on each fist. "I got them especially for you."

"You look like a reject from VillainCon." The villainess snorted derisively, "Who do you think you are, Badgerine?"

"Weapon Y-46 actually," Kim matched, moving to flank the villainess, casting a glance at Ron to make sure he had not degenerated to slap-fighting Señor Senior Junior.

"I don't know what is more disturbing," Shego sniffed as she circled in return, making the same glance to her cohort, "That you know who that is, or that I know enough to agree."

Quickly the fight recommenced, with Kim going on the offensive this time. She saw that the claws were like any knife blade, they had a cutting surface and a back; and so long as she struck with the backs of her hands they would act like a taser, shocks shorting across the two claws into the target.

Shego learned this the hard way and found both of her hands numb for several seconds the first time she went claw to claw with her nemesis. She also learned that once more, the two of them were operating from different schools; she had precision with the five ceramic claws on her finger tips, able to change a line with the flick of a wrist, while Kimmie's six inch long hand and foot claws lacked such precision, but did give her a reach advantage and quite a bit of leverage.

Of course, there was one vexing detail for the villainess, Possible's suit was self-healing. Any cut she managed to inflict sealed itself, and she was uncertain if the flesh beneath was similarly healed. Her own suit, on the other hand, while cut and damage resistant, was not entirely slice-proof; and Kimmie's magical claws were apparently sharp enough to defeat the Kevlar bi-weave whenever they struck air was quickly becoming filled with the whistles of Kim's long claws whipping through the air, and the occasional whisper of sliced meta-fabric as one of the two women scored a hit.

The only saving grace for Shego was that the redhead was not being as merciless with the caws as someone else in her position might be, because after just two minutes of claw-fighting, the redhead had three times passed on the opportunity to slice off a limb or open her throat. Shego herself granted no such lenience, but then her claws were as not well suited to murder as the redheads were.

But after seven minutes total of going full speed; first as usual, and then in this feline dance, both women were starting to flag. Kim was missing more blocks and leaning on her battle suit to absorb the damage. Meanwhile Shego was doing the same with her superpowers, cauterizing cuts to her arms rather than avoiding them altogether.

And then the inevitable happened. One of Kim's raptorial foot claws caught the lip of an existing slice in Shego's suit, but hooked it backwards with the dull side of the claw rather than slicing cleanly through with the nano-sharp cutting edge.

The electrical arcs from the foot claw instantly paralyzed Shego's posterior and started her collapsing towards the floor, while the damaged garment remained hooked on the three inch claw blade. As the villainess fell, her suit's entire back end was ripped away, exposing her undergarments beneath.

At first Kim didn't notice, prepared for another strike from the fearsome superwoman. But Shego apparently was spent, and not moving quickly to get up. The redhead slowly eased off, and realized that these were not just ordinary panties. Something was written on the bottom, or rather the seat, in big block letters.

"'It's not going to spank itself…'? What the heck?"

"Wha… Oh shit!" Shego reached back to try to cover her shame as realization set in on what the college girl was quoting, and only succeeded in stabbing her bottom with her own clawed gloves, "Ahhh!"

Kim laughed and shook her head. She went to wipe the sweat off her brow, and only just stopped herself slicing the top of her head off, willing the claws to disappear. "Seriously, Shego?"

The villainess rolled over, and winced at the fresh punctures on her cheeks stinging, but still found it preferable to being ass-up in front of the heroine. "What?! I can't help it if it's laundry day! They're all I had clean."

"S- Sure Shego… just keep telling yourself that…" the heroine tittered, barely repressing the all-out belly laugh that threatened at the visions of Shego being spanked like the naughty girl she was, and apparently enjoying it.

 ** _-KP-_**

AN: Wrote this a few years back for a message board challenge. Decided to clean it up and post it. Enjoy, and remember: **REVIEWS = LOVE**


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